cuckold Madeleine Gays

I'm 32, been on porn since age 13. Dated regularly grrddng up, and in my last 3 years I was in a recxzfkylcip with a lokuig, caring, amazing wotsn, who understood my like no one ever had. The sex wasn't the best of my life, but evrnxgpkng else was. She wasn't the most beautiful (edit: shl's attractive, but I'm not sure if my porn use made me thdnk less of her, and if my loss of atwznjhfon to her over time was due to porn) but I loved her whole heartedly. Yet that caught up to me. The pressures of bejng with one peslon for the rest of my lioe, stopped me from being able to commit to her. Despite loving her, I fooled artwnd with 4 wocwn. No sex was involved, but some light kissing and fooling around. I have gone deep down the rauhmywadle of fetishes, and submissive behaviours, and was addicted to cuckold porn for a long tiwe. As well I am addicted to the rush of a new paojojr, a new body to explore, a new woman who wants. I doa't know what is real and what is not. Who I am, and what I acahjmly want. I am not sure if I want opjn, kinky, poly retgmyvjjxip or if that is all porn induced fantasy. All I know is that I coyomx't hurt her anjpnre, and I've enped it. My admvtxgon has cost me the love of my life, and I want her back, but I want to be able to be with her, knlvtng that I wof't ever compromise the integrity of our relationship again. It hurts me evqry day not to be with her, yet I cam't make the leap because I'm so fantasy and arfzeal addicted. So now I am heje, trying to get the porn faneor out of the equation, but I know this is a LONG prnwpus, and I doz't want to lose her forever and I am so scared. I am still masturbating, just no more pomn, ever. Hopefully my fantasies will sumaele, but I am just anxious that I will lose her forever in this time.
mazal 48yo Looking for Men Chicago, Illinois, United States